I’d also like to point out that Forch’N Telling, as well as the whole show is brought to you in part by AMP Energy Drink. No. They’re still not a sponsor, but the fact that I am awake to do this show is brought to you by AMP. Amp’s combination of Guarana and Taurine give me the energy boost I need to get through my day!

Get AMP’d!

And with that, I give you, Forch’N Telling.

Peter Angelos, I think that it’s time you just give up, and Free The Birds!

For those of you who don’t know who Peter Angelos is, he’s a lawyer who resides in the Baltimore area, who since the 1980’s, had gained notoriety as well as a very large bank account in civil class action suits, most notably against Phillip Morris, the tobacco company.

Angelos has made hundreds of million dollars off of these suits, but his most notable accomplishment, is that he is the owner of my team. The end all be all of Forchiness… The Baltimore Orioles.

Angelos bought the team in 1993, and since 1998, The Orioles have finished with a less than .500 record in each of the eleven seasons.

That’s right. Eleven years in a row. The Orioles have won less than half of the 162 games that they have played.

Now this is something that has a direct effect on the fans who have supported the team throughout this time, myself included.

Even through the leanest years losing baseball teams have always had the support of their fans because they never broke one sacred rule, they always fielded the best team possible. Well this is not the case with the O’s.

Angelos is not willing to spend the money to field a team of even semi-all stars.

Now don’t get me wrong, the team has a number of potential superstars on the roster, which in a few years have a chance of being real assets to the game of baseball, but let’s face facts. Once they are stars, Angelos won’t pay the money to keep them in Charm City.

Ask anyone who knows me well, and they will tell you that as a fan of the O’s, I practically bleed Orange, and to have to watch the team that celebrated years of being one of the most respected teams in baseball, with a great and celebrated history practically flush down the toilet, I feel like puking out shards of my own intestines.

Case in point.

Capt. Campbell and I went to see the Orioles play against the Toronto Blue Jays this past Tuesday, which was the first time that The Captain had ever went to a pro baseball game, and I was disgusted to see the O’s Blow a lead in the bottom of the ninth.

Nothing new for the Birds, but it was the way that it was done.

The pitcher hit a batter with the bases loaded and walked in the tying run.

Then the O’s falter in extra innings, and lose.

This has been the story all year.

Now of course, the management of the Orioles will say that this is a rebuilding year, and fine, I can accept that Excuse, with one problem. This is the third straight “Rebuilding year” for the Birds.

Is next year going to be no different?

In May of 2009, A Sports Illustrated article reviewing owners of Major League Baseball franchises rated Angelos as one of the five worst owners in the United States. The article notes that the methodology “was not scientific” and “weighing heavily in the decision was the team’s success or failure on the field.”

And it’s true. in sixteen years of owning the team, he has failed to field a winning team 13 of those years! Do the math! That means that since Angelos took ownership, The O’s have had a winning season 18.75% of the time.

This is unacceptable.

Mr. Angelos, I know you’re never going to hear this, or hell, read this on the website, I am small potatoes compared to you, and you are not going to care about what I have to say, because you have made it clear that you do not care about your fans what so ever.

But why not just sell the team to someone who will actually care about building a winning franchise?

When you start thinking that making money is more important than appeasing the people who actually support your business, then maybe you should step down.

There’s a reason why the Yankees, The Cubs and the Red Sox have such successful teams, and that’s because they have owners that actually care about the fans, and Mr. Angelos you don’t care. That’s more apparent than anything.

I remember a day where the term “Oriole Way” meant something other than losing, Baltimore has a rich history, as a team, and has one of the most beautiful stadiums in Baseball.

The Oriole Way used to mean something. Cal Ripken, Jr. Brooks Robinson, Eddie Murray, Jim Palmer, Earl Weaver, Frank Robinson, Elrod Hendricks, Davey Johnson, Hoyt Wilhelm, Rick Dempsey. These are all men who represented that.

There are some players on the roster who exemplify that today, but one man can not carry a team. It takes nine players to field a team, and until you can get the right nine players, you don’t deserve to own the Baltimore Orioles…

But that’s just my opinion…. What do I know???

With that out of the way, I would like to point out that tonight’s Forch’N Telling is brought to you in part by AMP energy drink. No they’re not a sponsor, but the fact that I am awake today has been because of the crisp and delicious taste of AMP.

AMP energy drink is exactly what Forch needs to kickstart any day. GET AMP’D!!!

Now, I have no idea where people get off saying that I am a cheap promoter of goods and services! All the time, I hear people saying that I will shamelessly promote anything.

I have no idea where people even get off insinuating this falsehood!

Just because I love a bowl of Kraft Dinner for lunch! Who doesn’t? With its cheesy good taste and its ease of preparation, Kraft Dinner has got to be one of the best meal choices one can make! It’s gotta be KD!

You see? I’m no shill! I tell it like it is!

I don’t know where people get off saying that!!!

It reminds me of a story, when I was living at the now-former Vanderhuge estate.

As someone who suffers from OCD, I kept quite a tidy place. I cleaned my toilet at least 3 times a week. I always found that Lysol Power Liquid Toilet bowl cleaner did the best job. With its thick formula , it clings to the bowl destroying even the toughest stains. The angle neck bottle targets hard to reach areas, including the rim, leaving your entire bowl sparkling and deodorized. Lysol. The name you trust in disinfectants!

So, where was I. Oh yeah. I kept a tidy place, and I cleaned my toilet three times a week. People don’t realize that I am very adamant about the way I do things, and I don’t appreciate when people call me a sell-out, because I trust name-brand items.

To be honest with you, I find it quite offensive, and it gives me a headache. So I am going to take some Extra Strength Tylenol EZ Tabs. Tylenol EZ Tabs bring fast acting relief to people who have difficulty swallowing tablets. They’re sweet-coated, easy to swallow and deliver effective relief of the aches and pains associated with working and other daily activities.

The best part of Tylenol EZ tabs is, that I don’t have to down an entire bottle of water when taking headache medication. But when my body thirsts to be healthy, I prefer the smooth taste of Aquafina water. Their unique Hydro-7 purification system removes nearly all of the trace elements which affect water’s taste, which leaves me with better tasting water, and a happy life. Aquafina. The Taste of purity!

Now that my headache is gone, I can focus on my subject, which was what again? Oh yeah, Me being a sell-out.

Yeah, so I have no idea where people get off insinuating this! I think that the point that I am trying to make is that it is totally unjustified.

So perhaps the next time that you want to point the finger at me being a sell-out, maybe you need to look into the mirror, you’ll probably see some clothes from Old Navy (A place that I refuse to enter, let alone shop in) or you’ll have a Tim Horton’s coffee in your hands (A product that I can not drink) or even wearing designer jeans, or brand name clothes, (Which I actually don’t wear)

So perhaps before you accuse me of being a shill, take a look at how many name brands you purchased for the name alone…

And for those of you listening to the show who may be potential advertisers, my e-mail address is forchman@trainrekmedia.com, I work for cheap! And if the makers of AMP are listening, I will work for AMP!

But that’s just my opinion, what do I know???

I am the proud parent of a Three year old little girl, as well as a Three year old niece and newborn nephew, and I fear that we’re teaching our kids the wrong message with the programming we offer them.

To put it quite bluntly, I am scared out of my gourd!

Now before you say: Forch, what the hell are you thinking? Hear me out, because I tell you, there are some hidden agendas that might come out of the woodwork because of these kids shows…

Case in point. Dora The Explorer, and her inbred cousin Diego.

What the hell is Nickelodeon trying to pull off by putting these shows on the air?

First off, Dora.

I want to know first of all, why the hell are Dora’s parents so non-challant about the fact that their daughter is traveling through the Mexican countryside with a disease ridden monkey?

I mean, seriously?

Don’t tell me that Boots isn’t some kind of “Outbreak Monkey”! The damned monkey wears boots, so at the very least, he’s got Athlete’s Foot or some kind of Fungus on them. And her parents just let her hang out with him, and even let him sleep over at the casa.

Now I have no idea how old Dora is. I would say between 5 and 7. And her parents let her roam free through swamps, forests and pink oozing geysers without the lightest bit of supervision! It’s like they’re encouraging a kidnapper to take her hostage, and have Dora’s parents pay their hard-earned pesos to get her back. But then again, they may actually be trying to get rid of her, which supports my claim of non-supervision.

Especially since they are well aware that a Kleptomaniac fox is following their Daughter and that Outbreak monkey at every turn!

And speaking of Swiper, what the hell is with him? I mean I get the stealing bit, but why the hell does he just toss it away all willy-nilly? Unless he’s some kind of Adreniline junkie, just trying to get a Klepto-fix!

And then of course, There’s Tico The Purple Squirrel that can drive, and Benny The Bull, who’s Blue… And a host of other talking characters that quite frankly give me the creeps!

And her cousin, Diego is no better! With the exception that there are no talking animals to pester Diego, the show itself on the whole is not much more helpful.

It must be a family tradition to let your children run free untethered, because Diego’s parents, which I can’t figure out how Dora and Diego are related, let him roam free ALL AROUND THE WORLD in this case. Probably because he is a little older than his cousin, so his boundaries are much further.

At least Diego is doing something constructive like rescue an animal, all Dora does is bring a pie to Grandma, or win a soccer game. Nothing worth going through a snake infested lake for!

And while we’re on the subject. Where the hell does one get a talking Map from? No, I am not talking about a GPS, a literal map that talks in a whiny Woody Allen type voice. Or even a talking backpack that doesn’t eat out of its mouth, but from the top of its head!

Doesn’t make a word of sense. And neither does Max and Ruby.

Max and Ruby is just as bad as Dora. It tells the story of Ruby and Max, two bunnies who apparently live with no parental supervision AT ALL! Well, their Grandmother lives down the street, but where the hell are these kids’ parents?

Ruby cleans, cooks, gardens, she does everything, even bathes Max, which can lead me to only one conclusion. Ruby is Max’s mom.

But she’s covering it up, by pretending that she’s Max’s sister. It’s all a cover-up to keep the town from talking about how much of an unwed-teenage whore she is!

There! I said it! Ruby is a whore! It’s true! I have exposed her for the charlatan that she is! There’s a reason that people coined the term “Multiply like Rabbits” and Ruby is no exception… She’s looking for a Carrot, and not the Orange Crunchy Type!

But that’s just my opinion…. What do I know???

I am the proud parent of a Three year old little girl, as well as a Three year old niece and newborn nephew, and I fear that we’re teaching our kids the wrong message with the programming we offer them.

To put it quite bluntly, I am scared out of my gourd!

Now before you say: Forch, what the hell are you thinking? Hear me out, because I tell you, there are some hidden agendas that might come out of the woodwork because of these kids shows…

Case in point. Dora The Explorer, and her inbred cousin Diego.

What the hell is Nickelodeon trying to pull off by putting these shows on the air?

First off, Dora.

I want to know first of all, why the hell are Dora’s parents so non-challant about the fact that their daughter is traveling through the Mexican countryside with a disease ridden monkey?

I mean, seriously?

Don’t tell me that Boots isn’t some kind of “Outbreak Monkey”! The damned monkey wears boots, so at the very least, he’s got Athlete’s Foot or some kind of Fungus on them. And her parents just let her hang out with him, and even let him sleep over at the casa.

Now I have no idea how old Dora is. I would say between 5 and 7. And her parents let her roam free through swamps, forests and pink oozing geysers without the lightest bit of supervision! It’s like they’re encouraging a kidnapper to take her hostage, and have Dora’s parents pay their hard-earned pesos to get her back. But then again, they may actually be trying to get rid of her, which supports my claim of non-supervision.

Especially since they are well aware that a Kleptomaniac fox is following their Daughter and that Outbreak monkey at every turn!

And speaking of Swiper, what the hell is with him? I mean I get the stealing bit, but why the hell does he just toss it away all willy-nilly? Unless he’s some kind of Adreniline junkie, just trying to get a Klepto-fix!

And then of course, There’s Tico The Purple Squirrel that can drive, and Benny The Bull, who’s Blue… And a host of other talking characters that quite frankly give me the creeps!

And her cousin, Diego is no better! With the exception that there are no talking animals to pester Diego, the show itself on the whole is not much more helpful.

It must be a family tradition to let your children run free untethered, because Diego’s parents, which I can’t figure out how Dora and Diego are related, let him roam free ALL AROUND THE WORLD in this case. Probably because he is a little older than his cousin, so his boundaries are much further.

At least Diego is doing something constructive like rescue an animal, all Dora does is bring a pie to Grandma, or win a soccer game. Nothing worth going through a snake infested lake for!

And while we’re on the subject. Where the hell does one get a talking Map from? No, I am not talking about a GPS, a literal map that talks in a whiny Woody Allen type voice. Or even a talking backpack that doesn’t eat out of its mouth, but from the top of its head!

Doesn’t make a word of sense. And neither does Max and Ruby.

Max and Ruby is just as bad as Dora. It tells the story of Ruby and Max, two bunnies who apparently live with no parental supervision AT ALL! Well, their Grandmother lives down the street, but where the hell are these kids’ parents?

Ruby cleans, cooks, gardens, she does everything, even bathes Max, which can lead me to only one conclusion. Ruby is Max’s mom.

But she’s covering it up, by pretending that she’s Max’s sister. It’s all a cover-up to keep the town from talking about how much of an unwed-teenage whore she is!

There! I said it! Ruby is a whore! It’s true! I have exposed her for the charlatan that she is! There’s a reason that people coined the term “Multiply like Rabbits” and Ruby is no exception… She’s looking for a Carrot, and not the Orange Crunchy Type!

But that’s just my opinion…. What do I know???

Not just because I am opinionated, but because I feel that it tramples on our rights and freedoms, which of course, generations before us fought so valiantly for.

I am also a fan of facebook.

I’ve been on facebook for over 3 years now.

I spend a reasonably large amount of time on facebook, spreading my greatness to the masses, as well as playing games such as Mafia Wars and Farmville. I have spent an inordinate amount of time on there.

But something about facebook has upset me greatly.

As a social networking site, Facebook has made a number of changes to it that have been met with a lot of tension by its users. How many times have you seen people update their facebook statuses or create groups dedicated to how much they hate the new facebook.

Well Facebook is doing something that is far worse than updating its new look. Facebook is starting to censor its users.

At the urging of one of you, The Forch Foreign Legion. I have been asked to speak on this.

Jennifer Hay, one of my facebook friends, and a supporter of this website brought the censorship of a Comedian by the name of Beau Brooks. From what I have been advised of, is that he, like myself love to leave comments on people’s statuses. photos, whatever, and now for him that has been removed.

In effect, Beau is being censored.

Now this edition is not direct to Beau’s situation, but it was enough to raise my ire.

To me, someone who works in the media, Censorship is something that I completely disagree with.

I understand that people get offended at things people say. I get offended all of the time. But you know what? Does that mean that I am going to try to change the world so that people’s feelings never get hurt? Forget it.

If I worried about offending someone every time I opened my mouth, I’d have to take a vow of silence.

And now facebook, a social networking site, has joined the right to censor, by making sure that those who might make comments that may be somewhat “Saucy” have a cap placed upon them. That’s not right.

I think that the idea that you can pick and choose who can and can not leave comments on their site is appalling. If you’re going to remove one person’s ability to comment, you should be removing them for EVERYONE!

That is why I love this station. And our slogan.

Radio without rules.

I love the idea that I have carte blanche on this show, as well as on the Oh Team, and I don’t have to answer for what I say. I am not the most controversial person out there, but I like the idea, that I can tell the country of Australia to go Fuck a Kangaroo, and not have to get a “Booting” by the Prime minister of the country as an apology.

Now of course, those of you who listened to “The Oh Team” on last Monday night, heard me say that, but please understand that was meant as a joke. Even though, Australia was created originally as a penal colony, I would love to visit that country, and relish the opportunity to watch a toilet flush and go in the opposite direction.

But I digress.

Anyone who wants to censor someone else is wrong. I may not agree with what Howard Stern has to say on what he calls a radio show now, but I will defend his right to say it.

If you’re offended by the things that you hear, you do reserve the right to ignore them. Or better yet, if this is something you see on TV, or on the Radio, you do have a multitude of Stations to watch or listen to.

This is not 1956, where there are only 2-3 stations available. it’s 2009. And last time I checked, we live in a world of 200+ channels on the television. So there’s choice there. If you want to keep things all sterile and bland, Tune into the All Potato network. I’m sure you’ll love their in-depth expose on Russet Potatoes, or even their Cable-access award winning show: Spud Speak., but don’t tune in after 10pm, because their programming “after dark” gets a little racy.

I’m not stupid.

I know that one day, I am going to have to face the consequences of what I say one of these days.

But I strongly believe that we should live in a world where we’re allowed to say what’s on our minds, and not have to worry about some God-damned hippees get offended at comments that have nothing whatsoever to do with them, but because they heard it, they feel the need to make sure that they get their faces on the TV.

Nothing pisses me off more than some overly-concerned parent who gets upset because of something that was said on TV, because she is worried that her impressionable child will hear it. The damned kid 9 times out of 10 hasn’t heard it, but the fact that it could happen is there, so we need to gripe over a possibility.

The truth is, is that you were half the parent that you are supposed to be, you could teach your child right from wrong, and perhaps be there with them doing something constructive, then maybe your kid won’t grow up to be that axe-wielding sociopath.

My parents are both a pain in the ass, but they did a great job of putting not only the fear of God into me, but as well they instilled a sense of right and wrong in me. I may be a little on the arrogant side at times, and may be very eccentric, but the fact remains that I am a good person. I don’t drink. I don’t do drugs, I open doors for people, and I am polite to people who deserve it.

I think that if people were less worried about what they see on TV and more concerned with making our world a place where we can actually find real jobs, and support our families, maybe the world will be a much better place than the one we live in now.

So to all of you who are pro-censorship, heed the following….

Go Fuck Yourselves, you self-righteous fucksticks, before I really get pissed off and rip your throat out of your spines and beat you to death with them! I don’t need your tree-hugging hippee crap anymore!

In fact, I think that it is you who should be censored….

But that’s just my opinion…. What do I know????

Andrieh comes from a line of magically inclined individuals whose lineage include Asowge level Haitian Voodoo priests, Jesuit priests, psychics, and natural healers. He is a member of the prestigious Illuminates of Thanateros, which is one of the most difficult magical organizations to enter.

He holds the highest initiatory rank in Haitian Vodou, that of Houngan asogwe. He is an initiate of the Roots Without End Society, initiatory son of Mambo Racine Sans Bout.

He has taught metaphysical classes at Alchemy Arts in Chicago for the last 6 years and had several store appearances throughout the Midwest.

Andrieh has taught at conventions including Aeonfest, Ancient Ways, Convocation, and Sirius Rising.

Andrieh Vitimus’s magical career, however, began with a undergraduate degree in psychology with a strong emphasis on cognitive science.
He is a Usui and Karuna Reiki Master Teacher, is a licensed hypnotherapist, has formal training as a Reiki master and Qigong practitioner.

Andrieh is a native of Chicago, Illinois and is the author of “Hands On Chaos Magic: Reality Manipulation Through the Ovayki Current”, published by Llewellyn.

http://andriehvitimus.com can get you to all the Andrieh information and his newsletter subscription!

Bella is a natural witch, a healer, an herbalist, psychic & paranormal investigator. She has always had the uncanny ability to predict dates of death, which has not always been a positive thing in her life.

Bella has traced some of her lineage to Stonehenge and druids and Egypt and the Roma (Gypsies) of Eastern Europe.

Past life experiences have been documented and I’ll be asking her about those, her geneology, her paranormal experiences- everywhere from St Catherines, Ontario to many parts of Europe, stopping in various American states along the way.

Her home is filled with many active ghosts that visit regularly, including her brother and her son, a few faeries and pixies for interest (and I’m sure they keep it interesting), and her very much alive dog Trixie, who is also her familiar (and feel free to ask if you’re not sure what that means!).

And did I mention she works with scents???

Hand-blended oil scents that are made into perfumes, colognes or room sprays that can be used for ritual use or just for the love of the scent.. Smokeless Smudge is also made for those that need to cleanse but have family members or they themselves have asthma and cannot handle the smoke or the heady smell of traditional incense.. It also will not set off any smoke or heat alarms..

Poppy/Amazonia

The audio for this show was useless, We’ve since replaced our faulty equipment. Sorry to Poppy’s fans.